Politically Correct Unix

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• Brandon Ross - brandon@firesprocket.com
  For too long environmentalists have condoned the usage of "deltree" . The command has been removed from the system altogether. Though it is useless, the new command 'plant_tree' will take it's place.

  The "hash" command has been abandonned due to drug enforcement restrictions. The new command 'rehab' will not only replace hash, but will have the same effect as "hash -r", removing everything traumatic about "hash" from the user's memory.

  "suspend" is no longer valid. In modern society, all processes should be given a second chance. Instead, "remap_to_principals_buffer" will make the process stay in memory longer, and make it supply answers as to its function.

• Vlad Petersen - vladimip@uniserve.com
  'strip' may not be available or may not strip completely depending on your state/province legislation.

  For dumping in non designated areas you can face a fine of XX$$$. Therefore, many of 'dump' options will be removed.

  'zcat' has been eliminated because it was a violation of animal rights.

  'true' and 'false' do not sufficiently descibe all degrees of truthfulness and falsehood. 'unlikely' and 'possibly' have been introduced to complement them for the use by politicians.

  James E. Tyler III - taaminator@ala.net

  "man" pages used to be called "person" pages. The "son" in "person" perjoratively demeans pre-women. The correct word is "perchild". Historically, I am sure that 'perchild' was concurrently-developed across the Earth; however, I credit my Australian former co-workers and still friends (in no particular order) Dr. Peter R. Andrews, Mr. Glenn G. Trigg, Mr. Mitch J. Davis, Mr. Greg N. Banks, and Mr. Ralph T. Bennett with the derivative development after I gave them copies of ... two books ... a conservative book ... and "Politically Incorrect Bedtime Stories" by James Finn Garner ...

  "All terminals are equally valuable."
  First, did you mean "viable"?

  Second, I was told by the executive director of the Alliance for the Blind and Visually-Impaired, Memphis, TN, that it should be:

  CPU-advantaged and CPU-challenged, or, CPUed and un-CPUed terminals [non-CPUed is acceptable, too].

  She actually explained that you could use the 'differently-abled' derivative, too, but, I could not figure out how.

  Originally, the director said "mentally-challenged", but, I staved off the sexism in that euphemism with vigor! ["perchildtally-challenged"] [Cool word, though.]

  Carlos Sabo - carlos@coffeebean.net

  Do you realize that in their latest version of SCO OpenServer, "zombies" are now referred to as "defunct"? Rumor has it that the joke within SCO is that it was a political correctness decision.